When relationships go wrong it’s because, instead of sharing, we added just one thing—expectations. If you want to clip a person’s wings, the fastest way is to put expectations on them.
When you put expectations on a person, what you are saying to the person is really that, “I don’t accept you right now, but I’ll accept you when you do these things.” Or another way to put it is, “I don’t love you in this moment, I will love you later.” That is what you are really saying, and because of these expectations the other person feels like they are suffocating.
When you start to feel suffocated in a relationship you get to thinking, “Is this the person that I know? This is not the person that I met! It is a different person!” Or you feel, “I was wrong about him or her.” And then of course the next thing that you feel is, “I don’t love you anymore.”
This pattern repeats itself in the next relationship and the next, as long as we are putting expectations on each other.
Now let’s look at the perspective to change all that—the perspective that will lead to two birds flying together, not clipping each other’s wings.