I learned so much.

For example, even if I’d heard or read something before, if my Guru said the same thing, that was of critical importance, because after I heard my Guru say that I’d start to have 100% conviction.

Before that, no matter how many books I’d read, even if I had trust of something and believed it, there was not 100% conviction. But after Amma spoke about that, I’d have total conviction.

So what does 100% conviction do to you? It makes you not fluff around. We all fluff around, including myself when I was a seeker! I’d go check out different things, try to figure out what’s the best way, trying this and that. That wastes so much time. You could spend years doing that.

But once the Master says, “This is how it is”, then I will practise straight away. I will live it straight away. And when I live it, I start to cry in great joy—because my Master’s words prove so true. Things are exactly like she says. So you start to feel such gratitude and you live it more and more. You don’t waste time.

Self-realization, enlightenment, moksha, salvation—these are just words for the goal of spirituality. But just being with the Master, seeing the Master with my own eyes, made me feel love for that goal.

Even though I was only one amongst thousands with the Master, it still made me feel love for the goal and know that the goal was real—it’s not some funny thing somebody made up.

Well, when you know that in your heart, it does something to you. When you’re clear about that, you start to walk more purposefully, more clearly. There’s less guesswork. Just being around Amma gave me this innocent feeling that “I can be like that.”

You’re not telling this to other people. You’re not being egotistic and thinking, “I’m going to achieve self-realization,” or, “I’m going to be enlightened.” It’s not in a weird way like that. Just quietly in your heart you feel, “I can live like that. I can be like that.”

One has to have that feeling before enlightenment happens. If that is not there, enlightenment won’t come.

Not that, “I will achieve this,”—if you think, “I will achieve this,” know that’s your mind. I’m talking about the feeling that, “I might be able to achieve this.” That feeling. And it seems real.

Well, Amma did that to me.

Of course that shaped my spiritual practice, that shaped my purposeful living to sacrifice my life for others. Basically, I was following the Master’s teachings—chanting my mantra, always trying to put others first. I sacrificed my life. When somebody asked me to help them with something and my mind didn’t want to, I’d tell my mind to shut up and I’d gladly help. I always made sure I had the last say, not my mind. And the last say would always be actions that benefit others.

So I was just living the Master’s teachings. But all of that comes from being with Amma and the feeling inside me that, “I think I can live like that.” If I was not living with Amma, seeing how she was living, seeing what it looks like, I don’t think I would’ve had that absolute faith. I’ve always had a strong faith, but I don’t think it would have been that absolute faith.

Gurus

In the West, the idea of a spiritual Guru is little understood. In this post, Master Sri Avinash describes what a Guru really is, how to tell if someone is a true Guru (‘Sadguru’ in Sanskrit), the benefits of having a Guru, and more.

A Guru and the Disciple’s Effort

With simplicity and profound wisdom, Master Sri Avinash answers a disciple’s questions about the role and importance of self-effort when one has a Guru on the spiritual path.