Wellbeing Article: Confidence
Wellbeing Article: What is confidence?

Confidence

Master Healer Sri Avinash explains that true confidence is an inner knowing, and he shares how the secret to confidence is residing in a state of calmness.

Reading Time — 3 minutes

What is confidence?

True confidence comes from inside, not from outside.

If you’re a cricket player, and a thousand people tell you that you’re an absolutely great batsman, that will make you feel confident, but that’s not true confidence. That’s not the confidence that Sir Donald Bradman had. His confidence was not coming from outside references, or even from knowing his batting average. It was coming from an inner knowing.

True confidence is an inner knowing, and it comes when one faces challenges in life and one has the ability to remain calm, therefore gaining victory in that moment. After one occasion like that, we get a massive boost in confidence.

A good example is when we have our first boyfriend or girlfriend and then we break up. We can’t sleep, we’re drowning in emotions and we’re all over the place, but somehow, over time we get over it. Then the next time we have a relationship break up, we have a little more confidence because we know we got over it the first time. We still suffer, but not as much. There’s a confidence in knowing that we somehow handled it in the past, so we can handle it again. We may not be great at it, but we’re okay.

So, confidence comes from facing the challenges of life—just you and your inner experience of that.

Confidence does not come from study and being taught. A great teacher will start off with the theory, but the student has to go through the experience themself, and then confidence comes.

That’s why a great Master will never try to convert somebody, because a person might be converted but they will never have true confidence.

True confidence comes from a person’s actual experience, not from just agreeing with something they’ve been told.

True confidence is calmness

Ultimately, believe it or not, general confidence comes from just being calm. If you are calm for long enough, you will be the most confident person on the planet, because with calmness you are better at facing situations in life, and so you gain more confidence.

As your confidence builds, then you become even more calm, and because you’re more calm you can face challenges in life even better. So you gain even more confidence.

It sounds simple, but it’s true—just being calm.

We never see calmness as something really great because we’re always looking for some special secret, like doing a course that will give us amazing confidence by lifting us up.

No, it comes from our everyday handling of life, even the simple things in life.

When you’re calm about going to sleep at night, you’re not worried that you can’t fall asleep. That gives confidence. When you cook a meal for your friends, you’re calm that it should taste alright when they come for dinner. When you go to the first day of your new job, you’re just calm. You don’t know what’s going to happen—you might lose the job, you might bomb out, but just being calm in that job gives you confidence.

Being calm carries on into everything you do.

Calmness while you’re washing the dishes relates to the calmness you feel when you’re on a first date. If you can’t be calm washing the dishes, you won’t be able to be calm on a date, because when you shift from washing the dishes to going on a date it’s a different activity but the state of calmness continues.